Something Wonderful Right Away
It's all a blur but here goes...when you do improv you are in the moment so when the moment is over and you're trying to remember what you said, the one liners flash into your brain randomly like memories from a blackout.

I had turned fifty the Sunday before...I can't believe I just wrote that...it's just a number...a large round number...but it gave me the excuse to have Robin Williams as my spiritual guru. From behind the curtain he was just a voice...

"You turned fifty, Mark?" he said.

"Yes."

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"DEATH!"

I countered with, "Did you just call me Mark, or Mork?"

There was a long pause. Too long. I thought he had left. Then...

"Fuck you, Mark. I have an Oscar!"

He finally joined me on stage and I spotted a pregnant woman in the front row in her 10th month. Robin and I took our mikes and leaned into her stomach doing the first show her kid will ever hear.

"When you're old enough to see a show here, Mark Pitta will be seventy," Robin said to her belly.

I asked where she was having the baby and she said, "Marin General."

"Oh, no," I said. "In two months that's going to be a Whole Foods."

When we found out her last name was "Heinz," I came up with, "So, child birth is going to be you upside down with the doctors doing this..." Then I pretended to hit a Heinz Ketchup bottle from the bottom.

I'm sure Robin said some funny things too but this is all I can remember.